Category Archives: heroinehappiness

Category Archives: heroinehappiness

heroine happiness : beyond the disney princess

Disney gets a lot of flack for its ‘princessification‘ of its heroines. Where Disney heros save the day with their bulging biceps and gallant swords, the heroines are often turned in to passive and pretty victims with tiny feet and angelic voices whose only mission is to sit back and be saved by the handsome prince.

But even with the glitter and woodland animals — in order for Disney heroines to reach their happy ever afters they all had to face uncomfortable challenges and find their strength to step in to who they really are.

Traditionally, fairytale heroines are powerful and passionate girls who confront the often mad world head-on to make things right. The heroine’s journey is about leaving the comfort of the status quo (which, in reality, is usually quite uncomfortable) to uncover the magical part of herself that lives beyond the everyday world. It requires braveness and kickassery. Not dwarves and princes.



And fairytales themselves are really templates for personal growth and development.  About discovering who you are, what you really stand for and what you really want. About learning to rise to difficulty, hurt and pain as well as love, laughter and fun. About using fear in a constructive way. About uncovering your magic and talents to fill that hole in the world that only heroine-shaped you can fill.

A heroine is:

  • Fiercely independent. She takes 100% responsibility for her situation…doesn’t wait for permission…or for anyone else to catch up. And her successes or failures ain’t no one else’s business.
  • An action figure – She makes shit happen and isn’t just a legend or victim in her own mind.
  • Capitalizes on her strengths
  • Embraces and re-purposes her “flaws
  • Brave – FYI brave does not mean fearless. Everybody is scared.
  • Instinctual – Connected to her inner wisdom and GPS…making the self-help literature library superfluous.
  • Passionate purpose – She has a driving mission that makes slaying the dragons and escaping the sucking swamps not only doable, but a little bit fun.
  • Playful – She’s a funny chick that keeps it real but doesn’t take herself too seriously.
  • Bad. Ass.

And, of course, adventurous….though not necessarily innately so. But when it becomes glaringly obvious that things need to change — she’s down.

Tell me who your favorite fairytale heroine is and why! 



the two-suitcase project


The Piscean Princess Extravaganza (you can read about that here) was a raging success. So much so that when I returned home to San Jose from Santa Monica — I knew I didn’t live here anymore.

There’s post-vacation funk and then there’s you’ve-seen-where-you-are-supposed-to-be-and-now-you-are-not-there….funk.

I’ve been planning my exit strategy from San Jose for awhile now — I was never a fangirl of it — and now that the Incredible Exploding Marriage is behind me, there is nothing keeping me here (except for my brilliant evil genius Jillian — Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all!)

It’s been a toss up between NYC and Santa Monica for my next destination — and my birthday trip was the tie breaker. My concern about Santa Monica was that it might be full of plastic hipster posers with the combined depth of a paddling pool. I was wrong. Santa Monica was the funkiest, friendliest place I’ve been in quite some time and everywhere I went people wanted to play with me. (Do NOT try this in San Jose).


It’s where the girl with the pink hair, with the whimsical heart, who believes in magic lives.




I could pine away for Santa Monica for another three months. Or I could make it happen now.

I gave my landlord my notice. Created the plan and the to-do list to end all to-do lists to move to Santa Monica in 30 days. I can do anything I set my mind to and I’m no stranger to leaping before the net appears. Only this time, it appeared that not only was there no net…but the ground disappeared as well. Sort of like jumping in to a vortex. Yay?

The universe was unimpressed with my fancy Post-it Note countdown calendar on the wall. And sort of laughed in my face. Well, more accurately…it stuck out its foot, tripped me, kicked sand in my eye…and then laughed in my face.

I was in the belly of the Rabbit Hole — no ground in sight, with seemingly no control over the next move + weirdo Craigslist villains jumping out from the shadows at me. Wheeee!

It really sucks to know what you want to do — and not be able to make other people cooperate the way you need them to. And it never ceases to baffle me when people don’t act like good humans. (FYI Born-Again fellow on Craigslist — you can’t say you’re a good human while you are trying to swindle me out of money for an apartment that doesn’t exist. C’est tres gauche.)

Having numerous decisions weighing on where I’ll be living in 3 weeks — while not actually having a place to live in three weeks and starting to have stress nightmares in which I was lungeing out of a dead sleep to save someone from being shot in the head (wtf!?)…I had to be reminded:

Breathe. You are OK. Nothing is wrong. (but, maybe….lay off the caffeine for the time being)

I took a mental health day…



And the Two-Suitcase Project was born.

The main premise being to boil my life down in to two suitcases…and just go. I can make anything happen and I don’t need other people to act the way I want them to for that to happen — basically… I can “rescue my own damn self”.

Without trying to have it all figured out right-this-instant and trying to carry my entire (old) life on my back I can let it go and embrace the adventure. And thanks to the magic of AirBnb I get to have a place to land, meet new people and explore a few different pockets of the Santa Monica area before finding my just-right place.

Can she boil her life and her business down in to two suitcases? Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’ll be kicking it with the universe over a delicious beverage and laughing about that time it kicked sand in my eye.